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psychoticalduck's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005 | | 11:54 am |
Turn the page
With the end of one chapter another one begins... My time in Queensland is fast coming to a close as this is the last day that i will be living or conversing with people in Queensland. And, as usual, i spend my last day working. Although i dont think i would have wanted to be anywhere else on my last day as ive been working here 60 hrs a week and getting closer and closer to those in my team, I will miss them all dearly although i will endure. Somehow i think it is for the best. They are the best people i could have hoped to meet up here, and should i have met these people down in sydney i would have grown alot closer alot quicker to them but unfortunately, as i knew i was moving eventually, I had distanced myself from them somewhat. I will be having a dinner with them tonight a blasphemous last supper if you will, before i jump on a train to get a plane home. My real home. I will be meeting Matt at Central Station at around 10:40pm and then meeting Paul at St marys station and make my merry way home from there. This shall be a fun day, or whats left of it. Currently its 12:33 pm and im drinking coke typing this while im on dialler taking calls collecting money. Such rich lives we all lead. Had an interesting discussion with a team member today about if God existed and their retort was that of most non believers: How can there be a God if theres so much pain and suffering in the world? Kinda got me thinking, i dont believe in 'God' as such, but there has to be more to life than what we see. If so then life tends to be somewhat pointless. We go through life, absorbed too much within ourselves to notice others in need and once we die.. then what? all that worrying, all that self absorbtion for what? rotting in the ground? Thats somewhat of a bleak outlook on life. I dont know what to think,.so ive decided i wont, i wont delve into the philosophies of life and just live it, less time processing things more time living them. Well time to go and work some, Take care whoever reads this. Adieu Current Mood:  blehtastic | | Sunday, November 13th, 2005 | | 5:44 pm |
poopcorn
Hehe poopcorn.. Well absolute boredom has taken over absolutely. Another 10 hour day almost done.. 8 minutes left.. Today marks exactly 2 weeks until im down in sydney for good. Hmm the only thing ill miss up here is my work and the people there. Which is kinda a horrible thing to say. Oh ill miss my dog too.. But as for parents and siter.. some things you just learn to live without.. I guess i just need a break from them. | | Monday, November 7th, 2005 | | 4:12 pm |
Why run when you have rollerskates?
Todays another lazy 10 hour day at work. Got here at 10.30 am and i get to stay until 8.30 pm.. another 10 hrs of my life spent irritating others. Kinda brings a smile to my face :D. Although right now i have a cold and am dreading being here.. But its not bad, im surrounded by people i can tollerate and im listening to le music. Nothing in particular.. just on shuffle. Ah well only 20 days until i come down for good. As usual there are dramas. The house Paul was being approved for was sold at the last minute and we have to find another one now. So that means once we do find a new one i have to get all mail that as going to be redirected to that one and all my stuff being sent to that one changed to the new address. YAY! Damn some customers are dumb "uuh i lost my mobile and thats where i store my pin number" now just so you know i rang her on that very same mobile she claimed to have lost. wow the intelligence of these people.. | | Friday, September 2nd, 2005 | | 7:46 pm |
WATCH THIS SPACE
A journal entry will be coming to a livejournal near you! whenever the hell i can articulate my thoughts and previous weeks actions into words... and to be honest todays not looking good, oh and dont hold your breathe for tomorrow either... ;) Current Mood:  I am the fucking spoon | | Saturday, August 27th, 2005 | | 1:02 pm |
le blah x2
I r not posted 4 teh wile just another boring day at work, although i am buying my sister some grog tonight and letting her have 2 of her friends over when she was supposed to be grounded for 2 months for stealing moneys but eh.. hakuna matata.. Parents are gone for the weekend and i have assignments to do so this shall prove interesting... NOT bah kill me now.. no wait.. NOW! hehe.. shut up i found it funny! dont give me that look! yeah i know :( HEY! like i said that cats tooth could have gotten in my underwear any number of ways! what do u mean sexual harrasment to animals? pfft as if theres an animal welfare organisation... bah get a firecracker and a cat and you have a night full of excitement what are you doing with that nightstick?!!? OOH! :D i see oh yes once more officer.. ive been a naughty alterboy.. im bored.. time for work ^_^ Current Mood: undefined | | Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 | | 11:06 pm |
FUCKING ASS CLOWNS
why are people so god damn stupid.. they ask u for fucking advice, you give it to them, they dont take it and when its all said and done they are bitching to me about why hasnt anything worked out. Jesus christ these people deserve to be shot on the fucking spot... Chances are they have low self esteem too.. and they have it because they earned it.. And then they have the gaul to turn around and get upset coz ur telling them they should have listened to you.. Gee no, i wont listen to someone whos older, smarter and who has been through the exact same fucking thing as me! no that would make too damn much sense.. I swear there is some 3 fingered redneck pissing in these peoples gene pool... If only natural selection reached as far as mankind... these people would be weeded out and annihilated... i dont care how good looking you are... if you are too dumb to let an opportunity or advice on a serious matter pass u by coz ur not sure then you deserve to be beaten with a large blunt object... I have no sympathy for these self richeous dickheads.. I now see that there is a reason why people dont talk to you.. and why you have to offer yourself in order to make friends.. Sure im not fucking perfect, especially with relationships but at least i can take advice given to me from someone who has been through what im going through.. They do nothing but use you for advice and for a shoulder to cry on and carry their emotional baggage... Im not a fucking luggage carrier, im not a doormat and im not a place in which you can take solace.. Go fuck yourself.. Seriously.. I am no longer here for you, just leave.. go find someone else to have a friendship build on false pretences, and making it seem though you care just to feel validated by some total random you dont know reasurring you of how beautiful you look and what a great personality you have.. If your dumb enough to try and use me, then your in for a severe brainfucking.. you will soon find out what it is to feel real pain.. not physical but emotional... Eventually everything in your life will break down and all those aqquaintances u thought were your friends will turn their backs on you, and you will finally be alone... where you belong... left alone with your thoughts with one simple question.... "what if" What if... i had cared how they were What if... i listened instead of waiting for my turn to speak What if... i valued them as a friend not as an emotional baggage carrrier ..... What if... Then i hope u get diohrrea Current Mood:  Fucked | | 9:18 pm |
| | Saturday, August 6th, 2005 | | 3:26 pm |
Puddleducks
Horah for the weekends... although predominantly taken up by work, assignments and gym... they are never boring.. enjoying work right now, phones stuffing up every now and then, throwing random objects at each other and listening to music.. after this im going to the gym :) then home to sleep and assignments I rather like getting distinctions from tafe... lol but hey thats just me.. Gimme food and sex! Current Mood:  :D | | Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005 | | 8:40 pm |
~_~
You know what word i havent used in a while.... Knobjockey... man now that was a sweet assed word.. the end | | Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005 | | 6:25 pm |
| | Monday, August 1st, 2005 | | 8:12 pm |
ahooooooooooooooooowwwwwwaaaaa
boredom closes in around me, Like a pack of wolves, stalking its prey, Surrounding me, Consuming me, smothering me.. encompassing my every thought, every feeling, every fibre in my body... GOD IM BORED! lol once again work sucks the fun out of a monday.. Although i cant help but dance inwardly at the thought of getting 3 distinctions for one class with the possibility of 2 more coming.. Horah for tafe on mondays.. and horah for work giving me moneyz! although they do expect certain services for giving me money.. those bastages.. lol ah well.. It seems i too am faced with a serious decision to make.. not as serious as what i should have for dinner but close enough. I am left to decide what i want to do at the end of the year.. I could go with my original decision of moving down in november on the 25th which is when ive finished my Diploma in HR. Although this is a kind of stilted and naieve plan.. as right now i dont see anyone i can DEFINATELY move in with, or even if i will be able to move in myself financially.. i do earn a good deal of money now for very little work, although i do have a $1200 laptop to pay off as well as a $800 phone.. granted to pay them both would only take a months pay.. its just not the way i do things.. On the other hand.. i can stay up in qld and work full time after tafe has finished.. Which would be for a full month, until christmas is over and see if i can move down then. this will give me alot more money to use both for christmas presents and living expenses... Although i am chomping at the bit to move out.. Oh god how i want to move out and go down to NSW with a smile on my face and a pocket full of dreams, id rather have the money set aside to bail myself out of any debt, arrest or damage i may get myself in.. To say i dont know what to do with my life at this point in time is an understatement. I wanna b with friends above all but i also wanna travel.. I feel too cooped up and rutted here.. ive done it all before its too routine.. i wanna go to amsterdam or somewhere like that.. I really want to go to mexico but thats my all purpose contingency plan for if i get myself in too much trouble. so i dont wanna spoil anything by goin there earlier. Id go back to england but its too expensive to enjoy myself. Although i would get cheap if not free accomodation with relatives in manchester city.. I suppose this is all well and good but id rather have someone to travel with.. So as of now im extending an open invitation to anyone that wants to travel overseas.. Come speak to me and we shall try and organise something.. So right now ill focus on saving money up until end of october. Ill wait until then to make my decision to stay or go to nsw, to work or to go overseas and to decide waht i want for dinner tonight. On a completely unrelated topic i went for my first official driving lesson with the lady today.. she was nice, said i was great and that id be ready to go for my opens in about a month.. music to my ears.. Get my license, parents pay for car, insure it, drive it, stall it, explode it and insurance job it.. but yes a car would make life easier right now.. Alot easier.. So yea.. anyone that wants to give me a car for cheap or free also feel free to do so ill pay for it in sexual favours ^_~ ask matt and paul how good they are ;D Current Mood: Durka Durka Durka | | Wednesday, July 20th, 2005 | | 8:10 pm |
Digging up the corpses
You know the saying "everyone has skeletons in their closets".. well i intend on doing some grave digging and dragging out every single corpse there and examining it well.. By that i mean every stitch of action i have recieved off anyone in the last yr or so.. I dont need to tell all who read this that anything said in here is not to be discussed recited or even thought about beyond this entry. This will be a friends only entry so those who are on my list i trust enough NOT to talk to anyone about what they read here, comments and emails are welcome but nothing more... back to it.. So for those of you with a weak stomache id advise to turn to some hardcore pron or something less vial and adult... Hmm i guess we shall start from the most recent.. Jessica.... For those that bother reading this the only two people that would know jessica are Ada and Amanda.. | | Tuesday, July 19th, 2005 | | 6:22 pm |
filthy stink pigeons of doom
I heard the news baby, all about your disease Yeah you may have all you want, baby, but I got somethin' you need Oh yeah, ain't talkin' 'bout love My love is rotten to the core Ain't talkin' 'bout love Just like I told you before, yeah before You know you're semi-good lookin', and on the streets again Oh yeah you think you're really cookin' baby, you better find yourself a friend My friend, ain't talkin' 'bout love My love is rotten to the core Ain't talkin' 'bout love Just like I told you before, uh before, uh before, before Ain't talkin' 'bout love Babe it's rotten to the core Ain't talkin' 'bout love Just like I told you before, uh before I been to the edge, an' there I stood an' looked down You know I lost a lot of friends there baby, I got no time to mess around Mmmm, so if you want it got to bleed for it baby Yeah, got to got to bleed baby Such a good song... GoD bless you Van Halen | | Monday, July 18th, 2005 | | 7:39 pm |
bWuHaHaHa
tHE WET NOODLE OF DOOM DANCES HIS FLATULANCE DANCE OF DOOMYNESS AROUND YOUR KETTLED FISH. cONSUMING THE FILTHY STINK WEASLES OF UNHAPPYNESS ONE BITE AT A TIME. bROOMSTICKS DANCE LIKE A GARBAGE BAG CAUGHT IN AN UPDRAFT WHILE A PIGEON GETS SUCKED INTO A TURBINE LEAVING NOTHING BUT FEATHERS IN ITS WAKE.. bE STILL MY BEATING HEART, lISTEN TO MY WORDS AND TAKE HEED, fOR IF THEE DOES NOT ADHERE ANON, dEATH BY SPOON BE APON THEE.. tHE DA VINCIS CODE IS BY FAR ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN CONVEYING HIDDEN MESSAGES OF BOTH ART, RELIGION AND HISTORY TRANSGRESSING THROUGH THE GENRES.. aND YET WE ARE STILL PLAGUED WITH STUPIDITY I.E PEOPLE WITH A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT ARE SAID TO HAVE A 'LISP'... WHY DO THEY CHOOSE A WORD THAT HAS AN 'S' IN WHICH THOSE AFFECTED BY IT CANNOT PRONOUNCE? I JUST DONT GET IT.. MONKEYS LIKE CANNONS AND THEY LIKE THE FOREST.. SO WHY DONT THEY LIKE BEING SHOT OUT OF A CANNON INTO THE FOREST AT UPWARDS OF 80KPH... iVE DECIDED THAT EVEN IF MY FRIENDS ARENT SERIOUS ABOUT MOVING OUT I AM.. IF NEEDS BE ILL FIND A 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT IN A RAT INFESTED HOBOS ARSE AND LIVE THERE... HEY AT LEAST THE RENT WILL BE CHEAP.. HALF A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY A WEEK.. AND ITS MOBILE TOO! EH I DONT CARE ANYMORE JUST WORK AND TAFE... THATS ALL.. i TRY TO KEEP SOCIALISING DOWN TO A MINIMUM... lESS MONEY SPENT THAT WAY.. tHE FOOTPRINTS OF THOSE WHO WALKED ON THIS EARTH LONG AGO ARE WASHED AWAY IN THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT, BATTLEFIELDS RING WITH VOLLEYS OF FIRE AND THE LONE SCREAM OF A UNKNOWN SOLDIER.. tHINNING OUT THE POPULATION OVER A CAUSE LOST IN THE TRANSLATION.. tHE SQUEAKY WHEEL MAY GET OILED FIRST BUT IF THAT WHEEL HAD A GUN HE COULD BE OILED WHENEVER HE WANTED.. wHY ASK WHEN YOU CAN TAKE? fORCE OVER PACIFISM... pACIFISM IS A GOOD IDEA BUT IT CAN GET YOU KILLED tHE BRAIN IS SPLIT INTO 3 PARTS.. THE PRIMATE BRAIN, THE MEMAILIAN BRAIN AND THE REPTILLIAN BRAIN.. now! THIS IS HOW THE BRAIN WORKS... tHE PRIMATE BRAIN SAYS "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" tHEN THE MEMAILIAN BRAIN SAYS "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE BUT FIRST LETS KILL THIS FUKKER" aND THE REPTILLIAN BRAIN SAYS " JUST KILL THIS FUKKER, GO TO THE PEACE RALLY AND GO GET LAID"... tHE sYsTeM wOrKs.. yOUrS tRUElY, 7H3 1337 H4X0R, M3.. Current Mood:  i need a gunn | | Wednesday, July 13th, 2005 | | 5:27 pm |
Hermaphrodite flamingos
Here i stand on the brink of insanity, Teetering on the edge of anarchy, Staring at the great abyss beneath me, Armageddon reining down all around me, The demons within trying to break out, hidden behind a vacant stare, behind a smile that hides a tear, A man void of all emotion, But a shadow of his former self.. With nowhere to run, The walls closing in on him, Tries to scream but nothing comes out, Left crippled by the weight of the world on his shoulders.. A | | Sunday, July 10th, 2005 | | 11:32 pm |
Sna
Wow another day.. another 45 minutes of sleep... i dont even know what day it is anymore... Full auto has been implimented... my life is more or less pre planned up until the 24th of november, work, tafe, gym, everything... lack of sleep helps see things from a different point of view... like your patience for peoples bullshit goes out the window when your tired.. and its like the rose coloured glasses just melt away and you see people for who they really are... either that or im halucinating.. either way its all good.. I always laugh inwardly when people say shit like 'you dont know anything about me'. because technically they are right but that begs the question do they know everything there is to know about yourself? if so why do they still interact with other people? The self richeous one will triumph over the humble one... humble people are used as pawns in the corporate board of chess.. OH I WANNA BE WHITE! im not racist... im just fucking tired... my eyes are being closed for 3 minutes at a tym... the only way i knw to wake up is that millencolins song would end... unfortunately im going to sleep now... so feel free to read this non sensical gibberish coz i have no fucking idea wht im on about but i hope you find a point in there for validity purposes that can help you.. and if not then well i really dont care ^_^. Just pray you dont get horribly crushed from above by a massive crate weighing 9tonnes filled with bubble wrap... or maybe ill get lucky and you will be found face down in your cereal in the morining.. apparently drowned trying to play 'bobbing for cheerios' Just further proving my point i have no fucking idea what im talking about.... and for some reason motley crue is on... that means that ive falledn asleep earlier... shit ay? im being kept on msn by a girl im telling myself im in control of.. i hope someone tells her or this could work out strangely.. Well not strange... just pathetic.. but hey :D im not know for my sharp wit and rugged good looks now am i? I agree with Harrison... life seems to be revolving.. never fucking ending..wow may change on a day but its like the old saying.. same shit differend day.. bla bla bla yak yak yak.. same people piss me off, same tafe, same work, same dickhead customers. hmm shouldnt have pulled out that double barrel shotgun in and yeah i have no idea what the fuck i said.. im half dreaming half typing... i beilieve its superliminal, my subconscious = ghey.. tired sleepy mcfart time... Current Mood:  dfsdf | | Saturday, July 9th, 2005 | | 9:20 pm |
I don't want you to know too much about me, oh no. 'Cause I know you'll take advantage of the words that I say. You're looking for a way to depress me, make me pay. You don't want me to be, too close around you 'cause I would see. All the weak sides that you got, bout which you're trying to hide. You know that I would nail you if I could nurse my pride. You're on the top when I'm low. As soon as you're fading I will grow. I don't like you. You don't like me. We're lacking energy. Yeah, we're lacking energy. It's a mindgame we play. Rule the roost, major cliche. While one of us is fit the other's going insane. And every time we think the positions will remain. You're on the top when I'm low. As soon as you're fading I will grow. I don't like you. You don't like me. We're lacking energy. Yeah, we're lacking energy. So you got me up against the wall and I'm only waiting for your fall. I'll get back on top and be carefree. It's not the end for me, no It's not the end for me. I know we're thinking the same and our opponent's the one to blame. Thinking this way is not something we both longed for. Living this way is never something we did plan. But I don't think we will change. 'cause we're stuck in roles as other's antipoles. This describes alot of my relationships... Haha i love bitching about my shortcomings... kinda pointless in retrospect but hey it wastes a little more of my time so i suppose thats a good thing.. Its more constructive than sleeping i guess.. Although not as good for the body.. although does provide mental stimulation... so no matter what one of the 2 will go without... Today was good.. got on the bus and got wierd looks for wearing black pants and a tool shirt.. There was an old lady sitting behind me and was mortified when i pulled out my favorite comic, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. She was offended by it until i asked her why she was peering over my shoulder reading my book invading my personal space... Yeah shut that octagenarian up... i wish the window was open so i could throw her wrinkly ass out of the moving bus and into oncoming traffic... that would have been the highlight of that bus trip.. but alas that window wasnt open so i just held the book high enough so she could see the gruesome pictures but couldnt read the text... nosy fucking bitch. Got me a few new things this paycheck, one obviously being that book, as well as a manga drawing book... *shows how bored i am at work now* and another book called evil genius by Catherine Jinks. Also got a dvd called Double The Fist.. Now i know Fox will know what im talking about... And an anime called Hellsing. Oh how i love that series.. all 9 episodes. Also got tekken 5. So yeah been in a kinda violent mood lately.. Which is rare for me.. Shocking as it sounds im not that violent... ill threaten alot but im not the kinda guy that will stab u in your sleep for no reason.. id do it for money or if you stole my cheese.... but not for no reason or personal gain. Speaking of personal gain i had an interesting convo with Harrison the other day.. we spoke for a while and as usual its about nothing at all but then we got onto the subject of motives for doing things... and although most of the time i do it for genuine reasons.. in retrospect i almost always have alterior motives for about everything.. We were also talking about helping others and sticking your neck out for them. Decided thats not such a good idea... why put your ass on the line when 9/10 they wont do it for you or even worse.. they deserve it. In that case your delaying the inevitable. It all ties in with the saying " nice guys finish last" because when they are out helping those who act weaker, in order to get others to do the work for them. Its about time you started looking out for yourself.. Because its not as if someone else will... *Insert more self richeous bullshit here* sleEpy TimE! Current Mood: ANGEY | | Monday, July 4th, 2005 | | 6:39 pm |
DUMBASSES!!
WOOOO!!!! i got approved for a GE Creditline card! i can have up to 2600 glorious dollarydoos! And i got me a new laptop as my desktop shat itself.. nothing wants to work in that case..Ah well its being sent back to tech support (matt) on thursday so hopefully he will tell my my computers a piece of crap and the parts i bought with my first paycheck still work.. *kicks computer in the beans* eh like i care about that.. i got me a lappy... His name is Sir Lap of Top. Soo bored right now.. been here since 3, its now 6:51 pm and ive made 235 calls... Stupid GE dont let me listen to music or even plug my laptop in to charge.. piece of shit buttfuckers!.. ah well i dont care ill have plenty of time to play with my toy soon enough :D and i dont mean my laptop... wow see how bored i am.. horah for the rambling of useless shit! Gile will be coming up on the 25th-ish of this month... that shall be grand.. i get to dig his beaten corpse out of the pub after he gets into a fight.. coz im not takin the punches for him.. hes big enough and has red enough hair to take the hits that he deserves... im only pauls and matts personal punching bag... and they dont have to use their hands either ;) lol. dirty bastards.. Eh im sitting next to a team leader.. hehe she got a purdy mouth.. *pats mouth* I MISS ADA! ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA ADA *HUGS* | | Thursday, June 30th, 2005 | | 5:38 pm |
LE BLAH!
"When you bury someone alive for a minute or 2 you start to feel sorry for them, but it passes".. Think about it | | Thursday, June 23rd, 2005 | | 12:48 pm |
My Eyes Have Been Soiled
.... Well.. After reading an entry from an old friend, i guess it puts into perspective how mediocre my entries have been and become.. going from reall feelings to talking about girls... its like ive been regressing ever since i moved states. A point i liked in my friends entry was his notion of validity... Since being up here there has been no validity in what ive been doing.. I go to tafe because ive been told to, i work because ive been told to, i flirt because my body tells me to, no decisions made internally, all influenced or made externally... Without an internal decision how can i hope for the outcome to validify what im doing. Sure my jobs a bludge and i get paid alot but theres little passion and i cant see a future in it. $400 a week may be good for now, but the pay rate does not increase.. that would be my wage for the rest of my life. How can that be considered validifying? What is valid is based on or borne out by truth or fact. If i let others make my decisions for me how can the outcomes be my own.. More wisdom from this entry ive just read is the idea of leading a seperate life, and to quote: "I feel I should let go of all the attempts to lead a life as most do, and lead one completely seperate. Not individualistic as such, rather, one that does not bare the processes of the other" You see it everywhere these days.. people trying to be an individual, stand out of the crowd, and for their efforts they get grouped into stereotypical groups, basically achieving the opposite of what they were aiming for... It gives a notion of helplessness.. No matter how hard you try to stand out or be different, people drag you down and group you into what they think you are. Condemnation does not just apply to idiots, its applied to all, idiocy is a wave sweeping the nation, and even then, its not idiocy, its ignorance, people will believe what they want not what is necessarily right, and make judgements apon those beliefs and force their opinions onto others, and a unique and valid point of view to one person can be seen as idiotic to the other. Man is a quissical race, constantly questioning wanting an answer to all, to group things in each individual compartment, an idea of total order, everything in its place. But going on from the entry just read, there is no one answer for any question. And who would decide which answer is most correct.. well not finished but i need to go so i shall leave you with one more quote, "Until a man proved there was gravity, the thought of it was incomprehensible. Until it was made possible, the notion of being in space was for dreamers only. The world was flat until proven otherwise." Current Mood: le Blah |
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